-SO OLD I told her to act her age and she died
– SO FAT She jumped in the air and got stuck
-SO FAT she stepped into the road, and I ran out of petrol swerving around her
-SO FAT even God couldn’t lift her spirits
-SO FAT when she walked in front of the TV I missed a whole episode of Spongebob
-SO FAT and nasty, that she puts grapes in her folds and win pours out
-SO FAT It takes two trains and bus to get on her good side
And my ultimate favourite
YO MAMA, soooooooo fat. She on both sides of the family.
“Feel like a sweaty dog. Mailed Lisa imma come in later just for dance. Xxx”
Haha! Laure wasn’t feeling very well, she didn’t come in for dance later on.
She was better the next day, so don’t worry! 😀
xx G xx
“talk to him for me! go to the taxi rank please!!!!!!”
hahaha! k, so. This is from a night where a guy who’s number Mitch wanted to get was in the taxi rank, Mitch was in a taxi home and I was on my way back to the club.
so Mitch rings me up and is like go and get his number for me please!
and I’m just like wtf. But then i just kept mitch on the phone, went back to the taxi rank and was like my friend wants your number here he is, and put Mitch on the phone to this guy. Hah!
Turns out this guy had a bf anyways.
still funny though.
“Love you a rate lot”
2.00AM 22-Nov-2013 – “please don’t leave me”
“please could you print Christina aguilera lyrics please thanks hun xxx”
The best lawyer in Europe could not argue for Mitch’s heterosexuality.
xx G xx
“Please come home. I got fucked last night and I darent come out of my room because of my reckless antics last night. Most hated housemate ever xxxx”
So I went home for the weekend and, I guess my housemates got drunk together. Laura is a reckless drunk, mostly it’s hilarious but sometimes it can knock the fixtures loose. (literally our living room light fixture is held on by parcel tape) Hah!
It was all okay in the end, she just REALLY likes to wind people up. It is pretty funny, notta gwan lie.
xx G xx
“Have that cunting tea on go 8pm sharpish”
She know how to work it, no diggity.
XX G XX